Hunting the Raven
by BeautifulFilly
Summary: Raven has been attacked and is seriously injured. Beast Boy, and the rest of her team-mates now have to cope with the aftermath. She, on the other hand, is just trying to stay alive.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi. Ummm well this is my first attempt at a fic, so I am open to all constructive criticism and helpful writing tips. I'm sure that I am bound to make mistakes and I am also very prone to not ever updating. I really just hope that you may find some sort of enjoyment out of my writing.**

 **I have no ownership of the Teen Titans.**

 _ **Raven**_

The torment always followed a battle. Especially when I was the one to end it. The people were always sure to thank the others for their bravery and selflessness. But for me, it was always aversion. The were always more frightened of me afterward. Sure they would thank me, but it was always out of fear. They couldn't fake gratitude, especially with my abilities. Many of the people were afraid, but the ones who really bothered me were the hateful ones. Those are the people who truly frightened me. They were the constant reminder of the true, terrible reason that I was here. Even if that threat has passed, I always feel as if there is always a possibility that I would somehow fulfill my true purpose.

Tonight was no exception. In fact, it was altogether worse. One of my absolute least favorite villains, Doctor Light, decided to show up and terrorize the city. I was already in a bad mood that day. First Beast Boy interrupted my meditation time with a face full of stank-ball, then Starfire with her endless jabber and insistence at going to the "mall of shopping" and then Robin with his constant fretting. I love my team mates and all, but they can just be downright aggravating at times. And then Doctor Light comes along and just made my day turn altogether sour. We fought for a while, but with Light's fear of the dark and my powers, the fight was ended swiftly and Light was successfully out for the time being. We never really harmed Light, but rather frightened him. It was simpler and much less time consuming. Once again I enveloped him in the darkness and quieted him.

All that was told to me was "did you really have to do that"s and a few "damn creepy witch"s. I fully understood their dislike for me, but I didn't need a constant reminder of everything I hated about myself. I had realized that my actions seemed a bit rash to all of the others, but among all of the the commotion, they didn't really see what was really happening. They didn't notice how Light had become desperate and how he had started carelessly firing. How he had nearly hit a tiny, scared little girl who couldn't have been any older than five. I noticed the beam shooting towards her only a few moments before it would've hit her. They did not. Nor did they notice me teleport to the exact spot in front of her just in time to take the hit myself. The beam hurt like all hell, and I knew just how badly injured I was, but all I could think of was how the girl could've been killed. I was capable of taking such a hit. She was not. That is when I exploded.

After Light was dragged away, I went to look for the girl. I wanted to be sure that she was okay. Thankfully, I didn't have to go very far. She was still in the same place that she was standing earlier. I walked up to her, not entirely sure on what I was planning on doing. She noticed me right before I got there. Then she did the very last thing that I would have ever expected, she ran up to me and hugged me. I was speechless. Thankfully, she spoke for me. "I'm Melody. My brother, Jonas told me not to talk to you, but I don't care. Thank you." After telling me all this, I was surprised when she still had more to say. "Jonas does't really like you, but I do. You're my hero, Raven" Her last phrase took me back. I was her hero? Sure I saved her, but I didn't consider myself any type of hero.

"Am I?'' I tried for a smile, but I couldn't quite seem to be able to.

"Yup!" She, unlike myself, broke into an even bigger grin. "Even if Jonas says you're creepy, I know you're not." Suddenly, she stopped, her grin faded. She looked at me, her hazel eyes completely serious. " You have a boo-boo," she pointed at my stomach, I had not realized it before, but I was bleeding. I now understood why I had felt so drained. The injury was nothing that I couldn't recover from, but I was only making things worse by not attending to it.

I was about to tell Melody that I was fine, and that the beam had not injured me that bad; not a complete lie, but not the truth either. I was interrupted by Beast Boy, who I had not realized had walked up behind me. "Hey, Rae, are you feeling all right? 'Cause you usually don't blow up like that for no good reason." I was about to reply with my usual 'I'm fine' and continue talking to Melody, but she beat me to it.

"Raven saved me and now she has a boo-boo." She looked at Beast Boy with a concerned expression. "The light thingy almost hit me, but Raven got in the way. Raven is not bad, and Jonas is a liar." With that, she smirked and looked at Beast Boy again. "But not all the way, he says you're cool."

Beast Boy just looked at me, and than back to Melody. "You're right uhh..." he looked toward me, silently asking me for help on what to call her.

"Melody." I answered.

"Well then, Melody, you're right, Raven is not bad at all, and I'm pretty sure that she is way cooler than me." With that, I blushed. I wasn't really good at taking complements. He then turned to me, "she said that you got hurt?". I didn't reply. "C'mon Rae-Rae, you can't hide it from me." He wrinkled his nose and grimaced. "I can smell it."

Melody then walked up to me and tugged on my cloak, she looked dissapointed. "I have to go now. Bye-bye Raven, bye-bye Beast Boy!" And with that, she ran off to who I could only guess was her mother.

Beast Boy then looked back at me. "She's a sweet kid," his faint smile faded, "and your'e hurt."

"I'm fine." I tried to get by with my half truth, but I could see he wasn't falling for it. "And even if I wasn't, it's worth it."

"Raven, for one, you are an awful liar, I can smell your blood. You need some sort of bandaging at the very least. Two, of course it was worth it, you saved that kid, but that does not mean that you don't need medical assistance." He looked at me, I could see one of the few traits we have in common creeping onto his face: stubbornness. He started walking us towards one of the paramedics. I knew that there was no winning this one, so I conceded.

"Fine, but not here though, okay?" He looked at me, confused, I knew what he was about to ask, so I answered for him, "There's no reason to cause a scene, and I'm sure that nobody would appreciate me taking up any of the medic's time helping me when there are others who need more help than I do."

His response startled me. "Why wouldn't they?" I could sense his annoyance and mild anger at my statement. "You're here saving them, what makes you think that they wouldn't let you get bandaged up?" I didn't answer, but I still held my ground. "Fine, lets get you back to the tower, but I'm not going to let you just drop it."

His reaction surprised me. I was about to ask why it mattered so much to him, but I thought better of it. Instead, I walked over to the nearest bench and sat down. The wound on my stomach and my efforts to act as if I was unharmed were really taking a toll on me. Usually I would've already started healing myself, but my outburst from earlier had sapped my energy. Beast Boy sat next to me, showing his concern. "Lets just get back to the tower." I said in efforts to get Beast Boy off my case. It didn't seem to have worked.

"Hey look! There's the witch!" I flinched at the man's loud, rude voice, and tried to block out his voice. "Whats the matter witch? You gonna throw another tantrum? Look at that witchy bitch, I bet she she would've turned against us ages ago if the Titans weren't keeping such a tight leash on her." His taunting was doing nothing but remind me of what had occurred only minutes ago, and how I was nothing but a demon controlled by my anger. I felt my eyes tearing up. He was right.

Beast Boy stiffened beside me. I could feel his anger growing. "Don't," I whispered to him, "it won't help anything." He let out a small growl. He only got more angry. "Lets just go home. I've heard worse, trust me, retaliating won't help anything."

He stood up and gently helped me stand. I still hadn't looked up yet, so I was unsure of where we were heading. "Cy," Beast Boy suddenly spoke up, "can you take Raven home? She's hurt, and the people here are only making things worse. Especially that asshole over there." He pointed over at the jeering man. Again, I was taken back by the mixture of concern and anger in his voice.

Cyborg seemed to catch on. "Of course. C'mon Rae, lets get you home. And B? You should probably come to. You need to cool off before you do anything you regret." No answer from Beast Boy. I decided it would be best if I spoke up.

"Beast Boy, its not worth it. I just want to go home... I'm not worth starting a fight over." At that, Cyborg stopped as well. Great, now he was mad as well.

"Raven, don't you dare say anything like that ever again, you hear me? You are completely worth fighting for." I was about to argue with him saying I was not, but he continued, "if there was any way that I knew that I wasn't going to go and blast that ass with my cannon, I would give him a piece of my mind, and B here is itching to go and smash him to little bits right here. Now," he paused, "lets get you back home and all fixed up, okay?" I could still feel his anger, but I was relieved it wasn't directed at me. I nodded and got in the car, entirely ready to let this day be over.

The ride home was fairly short, quiet, and uncomfortable. Both Cyborg and Beast Boy too busy seething in their anger to trust themselves to speak up. I didn't understand what they were so upset about. I knew they had been talking before while I was in the car, but I wasn't able to pick up on what they had been saying. I wanted to ask them why they were so upset over such a little thing as the guy openly expressing his rightful hatred for me. It upset me of course, but I had no idea as to why it was affecting them in such a way.

When we finally got home, I was ready to be done with the day and go back to my room to meditate, but I was quickly reminded of my injury as soon as I tried to get out of the car. Somehow it was only getting worse. Right before I collapsed out of the car, I was helped out by both Cyborg and Beast Boy. Both had grim looks and neither would leave my side, but I was glad for their assistance for once, as I soon found myself unable to stay awake.

 ** _Boy Beast_**

I was mad, and I knew that Cy was in the same boat as I. I could tell now that Raven had been taking this kind of abuse for a long time, and this new realization only did more to make me more angry. I am glad for Cy making me come back with him and Raven for two reasons, and he probably knew them both, and he decided it would be best to not leave me behind. For one, I wanted to be sure that Raven was going to be okay, and the other was that he didn't was to see me arrested for harming a civilian. To say that I was worried about Raven would be a slight understatement. Worried sick sounded about right though. I've cared for her for a long time now, and I was absolutely disgusted that I hadn't noticed it sooner. How long has this been going on?

I needed answers. I needed to talk to Rae.

 _ ** Raven**_

I woke up in a familiar, cold room. One that I have always hated being since I've joined the Titans. The infirmary. Being in this room could only mean one thing for me. Especially when I was the one lying on the hospital style bed. I slowly tried sitting up, but soon realized that to be a bad idea when I felt a shooting pain go through my abdomen. Now I was worried.

"Cyborg? Beast Boy? Hello?" I called out, not wanting this to be another of my nightmares. there was no answer. I felt my heart begin to race. What was going on? I felt a familiar dread settle in, my heart beat getting faster. All I could think was 'they finally gave up on me'. I couldn't blame them. I only ever caused trouble anyways... Suddenly there was a noise beside me. I had realized that in the dark I had not noticed there was somebody else in the room.

"Whoa Raven, you need to calm down." I recognized the voice of Cyborg, who had been sitting in the chair near my bed. He turned on the lights in the room. I then saw another person in the room as well, I was surprised to see Beast Boy sleeping in the extra chair. Cyborg saw where I was looking and gave off a small grin. "B hasn't left this room since we got in here, he's worried sick. You won't believe how many times hes asked me if you're okay." Cyborg just shook his head, the grin still there. I pondered this for a moment. He was worried about me? What had happened? Where were the others?

I felt my heartbeat pick up again. I realized what had gotten Cyborg's attention; the heart monitor and other various machines. The now familiar pain coming back. I felt a flurry of questions running through my mind, but only one came through. "What happened?"

Cyborg just looked at me. A new expression on his face, full of doubt and worry. "It's going to be okay Raven. You collapsed after trying to get out of the car. You aren't healing nearly as quickly as you should, but there is progress. Also, we need to talk." The way he said that last part worried me.

"What about?" I asked, just wanting to get whatever he was trying to, out.

"Right now, you just need to focus in getting better. Everyone else is gonna' want to be part of this conversation too." I huffed, what could be so important that he couldn't just say it now? "Now Raven, now isn't the time to get all grouchy. Just try to get some sleep. You need it."

I was about to protest, but I suddenly realized just how tired I was. What harm could some sleep do? Right as I started dozing off, I felt something gently touch my forehead. I wasn't sure what it was, but it was reassuring and calming to say the least.

 _ **Beast Boy**_

I woke up to the sound of soft voices, I recognized them, but nothing clicked for a few minutes. Then I remembered. Raven. I opened my eyes just to see Cy press a soft kiss to her forehead. I've always known how he saw her as a little sister, but it warmed my heart to see him express it towards her. "Hey Cy," I said, finally able to form proper words, "how's she doing?" I guess that he was getting tired of answering that question, because he didn't answer immediately. Instead, he kept checking the monitors, the slight, forced smile gone from his face, and the worried expression I had seen earlier was back. "Cy, whats going on." His lack of an answer was starting to scare me. "Is Raven going to be okay?"

Only then did he look at me. His human eye full of sorrow. "Physically, though it will take time, she will heal. But shes been havin' real bad nightmares, shes crying in her sleep and thrashin' around, and its only making her injury worse." I saw how much effort he was putting into staying calm. "Something has been goin' on that she hasn't been telling us, and by the looks of it, it ain't good." His expression had darkened as he continued on. "B, that ain't even the worse part, the wound wasn't caused by the ray, just reopened. She was already hurt before this battle, but it is more recent than the last. Somethin's happened that she hasn't told us about."

Now I understood why the worry and sadness was there. Raven had been hurt, and for some reason she had not told us. I understood how her silence on the subject was bothering Cy, and hell, it was only making matters worse for me. "Why wouldn't she tell us? Do you think that it could have anything to do with what happened earlier?" Just mentioning the earlier occurrence brought another wave of fury through me. How could anybody even think of saying that to Raven? Raven stirred in her sleep. I had to calm down. My emotions were starting to affect Raven now.

"I don't know, B, we'll just have to wait and see." Again, his voice sounded dejected and defeated, but he sounded more tired than anything else. He seemed to be just as worried about her as I did, but there was something else that was bothering him as well. I was about to ask him what else was bothering him, but he continued on. "Why didn't I notice it earlier?" So that was it. He was beating himself up over this whole ordeal now. "I'm supposed to be her older brother, we are practically family, an' I didn't even have any idea of what was goin' on. Not this, not the people, an' not-" He stopped. What ever sort of control he had earlier was gone. He sat in the chair closest to Raven, holding her frail hands in his own metallic ones, the tears flowing freely from his normal eye now, and the robotic one dimmed. "I have to tell Rob and Star how she is doing." As he said that, he stood up and turned to leave the room. Clearly he had more to say on the subject, but he wasn't ready to tell quite yet. I didn't force it. Part of me was relieved that he didn't finish his sentence, but the other wanted to know. Before he left, he turned to me, his face full of an unguarded protectiveness. "Watch her while I'm gone. If anything happens, let me know. You hear me?"

"I promise." My answer seemed to put him at ease for leaving her for now, and with another glance back at her, he left to room. As soon as the door shut, I let myself cry. Cy was already messed up about the whole situation, but me crying about it would only make it worse for him. I knew that Raven would be okay, but for whatever reason, I was unable to convince myself of that. I knew that something bad was going on for Raven, and for the time being, I was powerless to help her. That knowledge alone was crushing me. I knew that Raven is usually capable of taking care of herself, but when she can't, she always lets herself get hurt. I couldn't bear even the thought of her being hurt, but here she was, right in the most hated room in the entire tower, not recovering as she should. I blamed myself, Cy was beating himself up over it, Robin would question his abilities as a detective, and I could already hear Starfire bawling.

An unexpected cloud of drowsiness swept over me. I figured that going back to sleep wouldn't hurt anything. I moved my chair to be closer to Raven. I took her hand in my own and just rested my head on the side. I took a glance at Raven, her sleep filled with nightmares again. I wanted to know what bothered her, but she always kept her nightmares to herself. "Goodnight Rae."

I was once again woken up by the sound of voices but unlike the first time, it was only one voice in the room, not two. Raven had started talking in her sleep, mumbling incoherent words, tossing from one side to another. It seemed to me that she was having a nightmare again. It then occurred to me why she would often have dark bags beneath her eyes, and she would so often fall asleep on the living room couch. She was plagued by her nightmares. I called Cyborg on the communicator, unsure as to what I should do. "Hey, Cy? She's having nightmares again. What can I do?"

His reply was slow and sleepy, but riddled with concern. "Just try waking her up, and I'll be there in a minute." He hung up.

I put my communicator back, my focus completely shifted to Raven now. I gently shook her by her shoulders. ''Raven, its okay, its me, Garfield. Its time to wake up now." I saw tears slowly begin to gather on her eyes, whatever was bothering her, I had to stop it. "Come on, Raven. It's okay, you'll be okay." She suddenly jumped up and latched her arms around my neck, and continued to cry. I've only seen her cry few times, but never this badly. I just hugged her back, and did my best to comfort her. "Shh Raven, it's okay, I'm here, everything will be okay..." I didn't know how true my last statement was, but I wanted it to be so, so badly.

I heard Cyborg walk into the room. His pace seemed slow, cautious, not sure how to process what was going on. By this time, Raven's sobbing had quieted down. She unlatched herself from me, but stayed close.

 _ **Raven**_

Everything around me seemed to be spinning, only focusing on the sight before me: a man clad in black staring down at me, a sickening smile upon his face, a gleaming silver dagger in hand, I tried running, but I tripped over the uneven surface that the alleyway provided. His malicious smile only grew, he had won, I was going to die. But there was something that he didn't know, I wanted to die. I wanted to be able to leave this world quietly; no fuss, no tears. I wouldn't be missed, that much I knew. Sure, my team would grieve and yes, I would be leaving the one I loved most behind, but it was for the best. I wouldn't cause them anymore pain. I felt the dagger enter my abdomen. My entire body erupted in pain. I felt like I was being burnt from the inside. I heard a scream as I fell, possibly mine. All I could think before I blacked out was 'Don't let my team find me like this'.

Faintly, I could hear a voice, slowly dragging me from my nightmare, At first I didn't recognize whose voice it was, but it was soothing, and it helped me focus on reality. I was in the infirmary, hands were on my shoulders, gently shaking me. I could feel their worry, their struggle to keep composed, but there was something else there, an emotion that has been buried deep and well hidden, one that I surely wold have noticed before, but it had been cleverly disguised underneath all other emotions. Love. I held onto it, willing it not to leave me. I realized who the emotion belonged to, I felt myself hurl toward him, my tears were flowing freely now, I clung to him as I sobbed, and I finally let my emotions run wild.

I could hear the faint popping as things around me shook, but I paid no mind to it. My outburst of emotions wasn't going to do any real damage anyways. I was drained. My energy was all focused on one point of my body, and for once, I was glad for it. Without energy, my powers weren't strong enough to even open a jar of peanut butter. So I cried, I sobbed, and I finally was able to release all of my pent up emotion and finally have someone there with me to be my anchor.

 _ **Beast Boy**_

When my shock finally wore off, I was able to assess the situation. Raven was crying, something that she rarely ever does, and she was holding onto me as if her life depended on it. I also knew that she was in pain. Her emotions had skyrocketed, and nothing was blowing itself up. I didn't know what to do, and that scared me.

I could feel her sobbing slowly die down, but her heart was still racing. She was still scared by her nightmare, but she was running out of energy.

I then remembered that Cyborg was in the room with us. "Raven, hey, Cy is here and he needs to check your injuries. Is that alright?" She nodded against my shoulder and slowly detached herself from me, but she kept near me, and had clasped her hand in my own. Her behavior seemed so unlike herself, and that had me worried even more so. Since when did she even like having me in the same room as her?

"Okay Rae, you'll just have to be still for a moment. I'll be done before you know it." He checked her pulse, her eyes, her temperature, and then he spoke again, "B, would you mind getting some water for Rae?" I caught on, he didn't want me to see the actual damage, and I agreed with him on this one. I didn't go though, I needed to see it. I needed the conformation that she would really be alright.

Surprisingly, it was Raven who spoke up next. "Just go, Beast Boy, I can't let you see me like this, not now. Please go." She sounded so broken, so frail, I couldn't leave her. Not like this.

"No, Raven, I won't... I can't... No, just no." I stayed there, still seated next to Raven. She was still holding my hand. "Please, don't make me go. I can't leave her now. I need to be sure that she's all right." I felt the panic rise within me. I knew that it wasn't rational. That she would most definitely be fine, but I couldn't tell my animal instincts that. Animals are loyal creatures. Some mate for life, some stay with their dying young, and some will stay by their dying beloved's side until the very end. I picked up on many of those traits, everything within me completely rebelled even the thought of leaving her side. "Cyborg, I can't leave her."

It seemed to me that he finally understood. "Raven, he can't leave. His animal side won't let him go. Is it okay if he stays?"

She sighed and nodded. I kept all of my focus on her. Cyborg was carefully lifting her shirt to unwrap her and reveal the injury. I don't know what I had expected, but this was so much worse. It ran down from the bottom of her rib-cage all the way to her navel. The gash was jagged, but clean, as if whoever did this to her was hasty, but determined and well practiced. It was deep, but slowly healing, I could see Cyborg's handiwork in the way he had stitched it. surrounding the cut was a sort of pathway with angry black tendrils going around it. It was by far the worst thing that I have ever seen in my entire life, and it was on the person that I cared for the most.

I could tell that by this time, Cyborg had become well acquainted to the sight of this. He quickly and deftly set to work. In her panicked state, she had torn a few stitches, so he sprayed the area down with some disinfectant, and set to work fixing them. Every so often I could see her wince and sometimes hear a small little gasp. I turned myself so I could see her face, and to my surprise, she seemed to be studying me, watching me, trying to see my reaction. Her gaze held fear. What did she have to be afraid of?

 _ **Raven**_

From the moment that he refused to leave, I've been watching him. I couldn't help it, the fact that he was panicking over being told to leave, his instinctual need to be near me, his general emotional state didn't ma- oh... yes it did. I understood now. All of his actions were starting to make sense. Every time he was trying to make me laugh, every time that I had been injured, even the time when those odd chemicals had awoken "the Beast" within him, everything was clear to me only then. I had already come to terms about how I felt, but to ever even have the notion that he felt the same had always been an impossibility to me.

But now, here he was, openly expressing exactly how he felt about me, not with words. I didn't need them. Waves of raw, unguarded emotion rolled off him, and it terrified me. How could I react to something like this? Before, I was able to simply ignore my emotions, but now that I knew the truth, it would tear me up inside... I needed to tell him, but after keeping my emotions cooped up for so long, I didn't know how to do it. Now I owed two explanations; one to my team, and one to Beast Boy.

I felt a familiar sluggish tiredness flush through my system. Cyborg must've put some painkillers into my IV. I wasn't about to complain though. After dealing with the pain for so long, it felt nice to be without it. I managed a quick complaint to Cyborg about it though. "Why couldn't you have given me that earlier." I felt a loopy grin hit my face, and I felt a warm pressure on one of hands. I looked for the source, and found that it was none other than Beast Boy. I felt the words begin slipping out before I could stop my self, but for once, I didn't want to hold back. "Don't worry," I felt the heavy walls of unconsciousness begin to cave in, but my grin still stuck, "I feel the same way." That sounded stupid to even my own ears, but I couldn't find any better words to say. I brought his hand closer to my face, and rested my head on it right as I fell asleep.

 _ **Beast Boy**_

"Wow, Cy, what is in those drugs? I'v never heard Raven mess up her words that bad before." At that moment, I felt as if a weight had been taken from my heart. Even though it looked bad I knew that she would recover. She was sleeping peacefully now, the side of her face resting on my hand. I still had no idea what she was talking about before, but she said it with a grin. All I ever wanted to do was to bring out another smile from her. It had become an addiction. Every hidden smile or concealed low chuckle was a personal victory for me and as time went on, I became more attuned to her laugh. It was a battle cry and a ray of sunshine on my days that were filled with defeat and darkness.

Cyborg replied with a laugh. "Just the usual, B. You're even worse, if you haven't noticed." His joking could only mask so much though, his worry and fear had faded, all replaced by something that was all together more dangerous: anger.

"Cy, what's wrong?"

"Somebody did this to her... they tried to kill her."

With those words, I stopped dead in my tracks. Its strange how much power that words can have over people. I finally came to the sudden relization of exactly what was going on with Raven. Of how terrible this situation was. I understood his anger now, because I felt it with every fiber in my being. I knew I had to reel it in, save it for when I could put it to real use. I started to use the method Raven had taught me to calm myself down. Deep breath in, slow exhale, count to four over and over while doing this. After a while of doing this, I finally trusted myself enough to speak. "Does Robin know?"

"No, not yet. I haven't told him. I can't find a way to do it yet." Cyborg and Robin have always had a rocky relationship, but there was one thing they had always agreed on- Raven. She was their close friend and little sister. I figured that Cy had a pretty decent reason for not telling him yet. Robin's obsessive personality would show very quickly. "How am I supposed to tell him that our little sister was nearly killed and none of us even noticed it until now? Why would she hide it for so long?"

Another awful thought occurred to me, one that I hoped wouldn't be true, but I knew was correct. "Cy, the person who did this to her tried to kill her... they'll want to finish the job once they realize she's not dead." I felt the fierce instinctual need to protect Raven rise once again. At this point there was no way in hell that I was going to leave her side now.

Cyborg looked like his systems were about to crash. He stood there, frozen in place. He hadn't come to the conclusion yet, but now that he has he was taking a while to process the situation.

The door opened and Robin walked in. Cyborg came out of his state and stared at him. The blank, controlled expression still there. "Robin, we need to tell you something."

 _ **Raven**_

I woke with the feeling of and intense, poorly controlled anger. It wasn't mine, and I was almost certain that I knew who's it was, but that did nothing to quell the inescapable fear that was threatening to boil over.

"What?" His voice shattered my growing fear. It was just Robin. Just Robin. Now he knew. I could feel his anger growing, but there was another flurry of emotions going into the mix, some that I still couldn't identify. Beast Boy knew.

"Cyborg," my voice came out as a weak croak, "I need to talk to you. Alone, please."

The three men were startled by me suddenly speaking up. I felt pressure on one of my hands, it was a foreign feeling, but reassuring. I looked up and saw Beast Boy matching my stare, his face so full of emotion. I didn't know what he was feeling though. Anger? Sadness? Fear? Love? It was disconcerting not knowing what he was feeling.

The surprise wore off. "Sure Rae, what's up?" Beast Boy and Robin hadn't made any move to leave.

"Alone. Without them."

The hand around my own tightened its grip. I knew they all disagreed, I knew how Beast Boy wouldn't want to leave and not be able to see or hear me. It broke my heart to know that I was hurting his. But the painful truth had to come out, and he couldn't know yet; not with the state he was in.

Despite their displeasure of the thought of leaving me, they and quietly left without any more fuss. I was relieved, but anxious, not eager to let the dreaded words leave my mouth, but knowing that if not said, they would cause an even greater mess. I waited for him to sit, and tried to build up enough nerve to talk.

Fortunately for me, Cyborg started talking.

"What's so important that Rob and Beasty can't know?" He asked with what would've sounded reprimanding, but I knew the inner confusion and concern. At least he wasn't angry... yet.

"Robin would start obsessing again, and I just can't tell Beast Boy yet. They wouldn't take it well." He looked ready to protest, but I continued on. "I know that you guys have already figured that he'll come to try again. Right now, I am sure that I will not be able to take another hit. Even now, my body is struggling to survive. I know you probably already figured that as well, but when I die-"

"HOLD UP! Raven, since when has this been a 'When I Die' situation? There is absolutely no way in hell that any one of us is ever even think to consider that a possibility." I could hear the devastation behind his words. Before I could get another word out, he continued on, but more calmly. "You are our family and will never give up... even if you do."

I took his silence as my cue, and carried on carefully; trying not to upset him once again. "Okay then, if I die, don't waste your tears on me, and can you please try to get the others to do the same? I can't bear to think that I will cause something bad to happen when I'm not around any longer.'

He answered me at first with a unbelieving scoff, and I took it as a good sign. "Raven, don't waste our tears? What are we supposed to do? Throw a party? Eat some cake and act as if our best friend hasn't just died? Of course we would cry. But you are not dying, nor will we ever let you give up." His energy seemed to be draining away, because he had said all of that, he pulled me into a big, brotherly hug gave a small peck to my forehead, and quietly and calmly walked out of the room.

 ** _Beast Boy_**

As much as I was longing to return to Raven, I knew I had to go speak with Cy. Something that had been said in there was really bothering him, and now our training equipment was taking the worst of it. As I approached him, a nearly overwhelming sense of anxiety had washed over me, threatening to drown the words that i was trying to say. Something's wrong with Raven.

"What's the matter?" He didn't answer, so I tried again. "Cyborg, what is the matter?" Again, he didn't reply. He just kept punching away, as if he didn't hear me."Cy, is Raven okay, or not."

That finally got a hold of his attention.

"She is giving up..." Came his dejected reply

"What do you mean she's giving up?"

"I mean she's giving up. As in, she isn't expecting herself to survive, and won't do anything about it."

I would've rather him had thrown me in front of a raging semi-truck. It would've hurt less than the thought of Raven dying. She wasn't even trying anymore. I felt as if the wind had been knocked out of me. The need to be near her was back, stronger than ever, but I stood frozen; unable to function. I stood that way until the alarms began blaring.

"No..." In an instant, I was off, racing back to Raven as if my life depended on it. In a way, it was. As I ran I could hear Cyborg trailing me. The feeling of dread grew stronger. The hallway seemed to go on for an eternity. I wasn't going to make it!

When I finally got into the room, what I saw would forever haunt me. Lying on the ground, blood pooling around her, a silver dagger impaled into her chest. The man, glaring down at her.

'ATTACK! KILL HIM! PROTECT MY RAVEN!' The Beast was screaming within me, begging to be let free. And for once, I didn't fight it, didn't restrain it. I let him consume me, fuel my rage, and destroy the one thing threatening to take the person I most cared about away from me.

 _ **T** **he**_ **man's perspective**

The man had not anticipated that result. He knew that he would have to fight off the green beast, but his most effective weapon was still stuck in the demon.  
Instead, he pulled out his second best- a gun. Hoping that sticking a bullet in the creature would do the trick, he fired.

The monster make a loud human sounding scream, but kept trying for the kill. He got in one good swipe, knocking the man unconscious.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey, its me again. Wow, I did** _ **not**_ **expect to actually get support for this story. Well thank you all soooooooooooo much for all of your wonderful responses. You all are awesome, and I hope that this chapter lives up to your expectations and hopes. I am open to any and all suggestions of how this story should go, and constructive criticism is always appreciated. Once again, your support of my story means the world to me. Thank you.**

 **I have no ownership of the Teen Titans.**

 _ **Cyborg**_

I made it to the room the same time as Robin and Starfire, but I was unable to go any farther than that. Raven, in blood-soaked clothing, lying on the floor, unmoving. The feral side of Beast Boy, also covered in blood, guarding Raven's lifeless body. A man, who seemed to have been knocked unconscious with claw marks on his arms, face, and chest.

Robin, however, kept going. he pulled out his communicator and called the emergency number. His usually collected voice was choked, and terrified, but he got the message through. "We need emergency airlift. Now. Titans Tower. Bring paramedics. Hospital. Get here as soon as possible. She might not- Okay, we will. Please, just.. hurry." He hung up the communicator and let it fall from his hand. "They said that they'll be here as quick as possible. Star, can you wait by the door and lead the medics here when they arrive? Cyborg, stay in here and help me with... this."

We all set off to work; Starfire at the door, Robin and I starting off with different tasks. Robin went straight towards Raven, but was quickly stopped by Beast Boy.

We needed to get to Raven and he wasn't letting us pass, so we had to tranquilize him. I felt guilty, but there were more pressing matters at hand and I'm sure he would thank me for it later. Moments after being hit, he quickly shifted back to his regular self and hit the ground; bleeding and unconscious.

Robin went to Raven, and I inspected and cuffed the man. He was tall, from what I could tell; possessed an angry, harsh face; but what truly startled me was the wallet I found in his coat pocket. It was made of simple, brown leather, had about twenty dollars in it, and a picture.

The picture showed the man, standing next to a pretty young woman a baby in her arms. The young couple was smiling; they were happy. The contrast between the man in the picture and the man in front of me was astounding. Here, he appeared to have never smiled in his life, but the picture proved otherwise. Here, he looked as a man that would stab an innocent girl and shoot her protector, the man in the picture had that girl and would've been the fallen protector. The back of the photograph finished his story. _Goodbye, my angels. Catherine-25. Sarah- 6 months._ I understood the man then. He wasn't a heartless monster, but a man who's heart had been ripped out when he lost everything. Now, he had nothing more to lose, so why not go for some sort of revenge. Why not take the happiness from others, as his own had been?

Finally, help had arrived. they carried three stretchers and a pair of handcuffs. Soon the three left the room, leaving Starfire, Robin, and I in the blood stained room.

 _ **Beast Boy**_

When I first woke up, I felt sore, beaten, and scared. It took me a few seconds to become fully aware of my surroundings. Once I did I felt an alarming absence of the person the I had become well used to seeing when I would first woke up. It wasn't long before the events of last night came crashing down on me. I tried getting up in attempt to find Raven, but it was no use. The heaviness had yet to leave my limbs and I soon found myself unable to move. Panic began slowly creeping its way through me.

Right as I was about to do something rash about my situation, another hospital bed was wheeled into my room. The person in it was none other than Raven. I thought the the sight of her would've calmed me, reassured me; that was not the case.

She was dressed in the typical hospital-style robe. I cold see her arms, both full is needles, scars, cuts and bruises. Her skin had always been quite pale, but now appeared as a corpse's. Her heartbeat was out of its normal rhythm and she seemed to be barely breathing.

I felt as if someone had reached into my chest and had a tight fist around my heart and was refusing to relinquish their grip. There was an invisible force weighing itself down on my chest.

I wanted to go over to her, hold her frail hand in my own, but I was forced to be content with just being near her. Apparently that wasn't possible though because I was just as confined to the bed as she. _'What happened?'_ When I turn into the Beast, my memory fails me. It is there somewhere in my head, but it lies trapped in the primal, savage part of my brain. I guess that I would have to ask Cyborg about what happened. Until he showed up, I would simply have to be content with knowing that she was alive and breathing.

Again, the simple, painful fact that Raven was in this hospital was because I was unable to prevent it. I left the room and this is where we were now stuck. I tried for sleep, but the mere thought evaded me. All I could see when I closed my eyes was the horrific sight of the person that I could possibly be in love with lying on the cold, hard floor, bleeding out before my eyes, and a dagger sticking out of her chest; as if it was there to taunt me. _My Raven, my Raven._ I remember thinking that phrase.

 _My Raven? Where had that come from?_ Was that me, or was it the Beast? The Beast was myself, but a lower, buried creature. It was me; my fear,my anger, and my love, it was all there, but amplified to him by repression. Before, the Beast scared me, made me feel as if I could somehow lose my control and hurt one of my friends, Raven in particular. Now, he only gave me strength. His emotions were my own; therefore, why destroy my loves?

The sound of heavy footfall roused me from my musing. _Clank, clank, clank;_ Cyborg. I also heard another sound behind Cyborg. Normal sounding steps, the sound of rubber hitting the sterile floor. At first they sounded like the belonged to Robin, but these were lighter, softer. Starfire, then. Finally! Someone to give me the answers that I was craving. I hoped for good news, but in finally looking up to see my friends' faces, I realized that they had no good to tell. Cyborg wore a heavy expression, the face of a man who had seen too much, and it was killing him from the inside. His cheek was tear-stained, and his normal mechanical glow was dimmed. Starfire was in no better state. First off, she entered the room slowly and without flying, her feet barely left the ground, her typically bright green eyes were bloodshot from crying, and her normally well-groomed hair was a mess.

 _Oh, Raven no. What happened?_

They then saw that I was conscious, and their expressions lit up slightly. Starfire was the first to speak.

"Oh, friend Beast Boy, I am truly glad that you are awake, how do you feel? Are you the okay? Did the troubling dreams bother you as they did I? I see that you are troubled, does your wound ache? Do you worry for Raven as I do? Do yo-"

She was abruptly cut off by Cyborg, who seemed to be asking the same questions, but trying to keep himself collected. "Star, maybe it would be best if you checked on Raven for a moment, I need to talk to Beasty, for a sec. And I think you're confusing him with all of your questions."

"Oh, yes, I apologize for my eagerness. I shall go over to Raven for the time being." She appeared sullen, but not offended. She then directed her attention back to me before going over to Raven. "I wish for the fastest recovery for both you and Raven, but I wish even more so that you and friend Raven were not in need of the recovery at all." Her green eyes began watering again, and she was doing a poor job at trying to hold back her sobs. And with that, she turned away and walked toward Raven' motionless form.

"Yeah, I know you have questions, B, and I'll answer what I can, but let me tell you what I know first. We were right in the assumption that he would come back to try and kill Raven, but we never anticipated that it would be in our own home. You were the first to find what had happened and you turned Beast, which is why I assume that you don't remember what happened. You were shot; he panicked when he saw you. You knocked him unconscious, but didn't kill him. You are already fine to leave the hospital. The bullet didn't hit any vitals. But Raven... She's not- Raven isn't faring too well." Cyborg did his best to act strong, but the act was failing him. The thought of his little sister in pain was enough to drive him mad, but the idea that she might be dying... that was more than enough to crush him.

My initial reaction to his statement was to laugh and say that he was joking, but the proof that he wasn't just on the other side of the room. I could hear the feeble heart monitor beep slowly and quietly. By this time I had become well accustomed to the sound; comforted by it, always reassuring me that Raven was, in fact, alive. Now however, it was a reminder that I wasn't able to keep her safe. Raven, my Raven, was slowly dying in a hospital, and I couldn't do anything to save her.

"Cy, I don't have any questions," I could feel my voice shaking, my own composure fragile, "but I need to ask you a favor."

"Of course, B, anything."

"I need you to help me up. Don't worry, I'm not going very far." He was going to protest, but he seemed to understand that it would be no use. He supported my shoulders as I eased myself up and out of the bed. I was sore, tired, and there was a muted pain coming from my left shoulder, but I ignored all of that. I had to get up, there was something much more important to me than my own comfort.

After what seemed like a needless amount of effort, I was finally back on my two, unstable feet. I managed to hobble myself over to Raven. With every step I drew nearer to her, and every step closer revealed another detail that killed me a little more inside. She needed breathing support, her face was bruised, and what seemed worse of all were the marks that the knife had left behind. Similar in appearance to that of the first injury, except there were faint marks left on her arms and hands; she had tried to defend herself. By the time I finally made it to Raven's bedside, Starfire had already placed a chair next to it for me to fall in. I could already feel my own tears streaming down my face. I sat down into the chair and gingerly took Raven's hand in my own. Cyborg and Starfire seemed to understand and they left the room, turning off the light as they went.

They left me alone, but at that time, I wasn't sure that being alone was what I needed. I tried to focus on anything but the current situation, but nothing helped. I tried to lighten myself us with stupid jokes, but without Raven's usual annoyed glares or the occasional tossing through a window, that just lost all of their purpose. Eventually, I settled with resting my head next to her arm and fall asleep.

I woke up with the sun shining brightly through the window, and my arm felt full of pins and needles. Raven still asleep. I now had an even more clear view of her injuries, and I felt sick. To even think that anyone would ever want to hurt her was appalling. A strange feeling that something was off came creeping up on me. From what I could tell, nothing had changed, but there was something wrong, that much I could tell.

Whatever the feeling was, I chose to do my best to ignore it and actually look at my surroundings for the first time since getting into the hospital. The room was in typical hospital style; plain and clean, but with the odd exception of the absolute abundance of flowers and get-well wishes on the opposite side of the room. How I managed to miss those in the first place was beyond me. I got up, realizing once again how sore I was. All of the flowers were sent from Titans, except one messy bouquet of wildflowers with the letter written with childish handwriting in blue crayon, saying ' _We luv u Raven! - Melvin, Timmy,Teether, and Bobby'_ and an adorable crayon drawing of Raven, the three kiddos, and the giant teddy bear, Bobby. I smiled at this one, and decided to put these on the table next to the bed. I there were anyone who Raven would be happy to hear from, it would be those three cutie-pies.

Right then, I heard the one sound that seemed to end my life. It was the continuous shrill tone of a flat-lining heart monitor...

 **Well, sorry about the little cliff hanger. Don't worry though, I'll do my best to update soon. Would you all prefer to have short chapters that are added more often, or longer ones? I know that this one was** _ **really**_ **short and I apologize. Well, I hope you all enjoy this little chapter.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello again, my dears! Again I am glad to see you responses and how much you all seem to be enjoying my story. I am also entirely open to any and all pointers, tips, and suggestions, as my writing is always in need of improvement.**

 **I have no ownership of the Teen Titans, but this particular story is AAAALLLLLLLLLLL mine.**

 _ **Raven**_

The world around me suddenly burst into light, color and confusion. _Whats going on?_ I looked around my surroundings; I was in a hospital room, nurses and doctors all frantically rushing about, the shrill cry of a heart monitor gone flat. _Who is dying?_ I walked over to the patient, curious as to who it was. _Is me. I'm the dying patient._ I was shocked. _I'm dying?_

If that was me, then it must've meant that my power had expelled me from my own body as a reflex to my unbeating heart. I was hoping to have a quiet, uneventful death. One without any unnecessary pain. It was odd, standing just outside of my dying body.

I looked around, trying to make sense of what was going on, but all that I found, only managed to confuse me even further. The room was half-filled with flowers, a small vase of them sat near my bed. I didn't focus on the people. The flash of green told me that looking now would be too painful to bear at the moment.

I've long before accepted my fate. I always knew that I was to die young, but I was happy now. I had a family. A family that I would now have to leave, without even a goodbye...

As a pathetic sort of goodbye, I decided to see how they were all faring now. Their reactions to hearing the monitor stop were the most heartbreaking things that I have ever seen.

Starfire was running down the hall, desperate to get into the room where my body lay, and when she reached the doorway, she was blocked off by two nurses. She wasn't using her strength or flying. She was unable to find any joy and her confidence was failing her. She was yelling and cursing at the nurses to let her in, screaming profanity that I didn't even think she would know, and she kept switching to tamaranian, the words still coming without end.

I couldn't watch Starfire any longer without getting upset, so I then switched to Robin, who I thought would be calmer. He wasn't. Our fearless, confident leader was leaning against the wall, knees to his chest, with his head between them. I could see his body shake with the sobs he was unable to contain. His communicator was laying on the floor next to him, along with a portfolio labeled _Raven's case._ what was in it, I didn't know, but I knew that it would be important to him.

I couldn't bear to see Robin like that any longer, so I moved on to Cyborg. The tears had been running down his face for a while now, the absolute fear could be felt, even in my current state. He was no longer crying, but he was now praying more fervently than a pious monk. I've never taken him as a religious type, but seeing him like that, hunched over, hands folded in front of his face, the tear-stained cheek; he was devout. His prayer was quiet, and his words would string together, but his message was clear, and it broke my heart.

Finally, I left and went to the one who I knew would hurt the most to say goodbye to; Beast Boy. He was in the room with my body, crying, trying to fight his way past the nurses. His form was uncertain, as if he was fighting a shift. He was terrified of losing me, and in that moment I realized I was just as terrified of losing him, or any of my team, for that moment. I hadn't heard his cries until now, but when I did, I felt my heart shatter.

"NO! Raven! I have to see her! Raven, no! She can't die, not now! Raven, I love you..." With those last three words, he sunk to the ground, defeated, the agony he felt resonated off of him. I could feel his loss. His pain. And it was all my fault. I was the cause of his pain, and I couldn't bear it.

 _Oh, Garfield, I love you too._ Right then, I felt my resolve strengthen. There was no way in Heaven or Hell that I was going to die now. My family needed me, and I was never going to leave them while I still had the choice. I was their sister, their friend, and Garfield's love. I felt a familiar tug on my heart, the sense of gravity returning. I now had a foundation, a sturdy ground. I felt my consciousness slipping as I returned to my body and I managed to finally put myself into a healing trance, and fall asleep peacefully.

 _ **Beast Boy**_

I didn't even need the heart monitor to tell that Raven's heart was beating. I heard the sharp intake of breath, and her normal pulse returned. seconds later, I heard the sound that made my heart leap up in joy, and the Beast finally give up his fight for control. I looked up to see her floating, finally in her healing trance. I didn't understand why she hadn't done that earlier, but either way, I was glad for it. Just knowing that she would be okay I knew that I would be too.

I hauled myself off of the ground, groaning at how sore I was and hobbled my way over to Raven. The nurses and doctors were all standing around her in shock, but they all parted and dispersed when they saw me coming. All but one. She was younger, with blonde hair and hazel eyes. She looked fairly familiar. The tears in her eyes threatened to spill over, but she had a faint smile on her face. She looked at me apologetically.

"I'm sorry," She said quietly, "Neither you nor Raven know me, but she has given me one of the greatest gifts I could ever ask for, and I needed to thank her."

"What did she give you?" Despite how tired I was, I remained standing, but I grasped Raven's hand, and felt her faint pulse running under her skin. This little action didn't go unnoticed by the nurse, or the rest of my team who were standing just in front of the doorway.

With her eyes still in our hands, she quietly said, "She saved my baby girl."

"Melody?"

"Yes," She replied, "You met her?"

"Yes ma'm, and she was quite a little cutie ." I saw her grin and nod. That explained why she was here to held Raven. She looked over and saw my teammates all in on the other side of the room. She nodded over to them and left.

When It was just my friends in the room with me, I realized how tired I really was. But I was sure that they felt the same. There were tear-stains on all their faces. Cyborg looked about ready to short circuit, Robin's mask was crooked, and you could see the weariness in the way he stood, and Starfire's eyes were red-rimmed and her normally joyful expression was gone.

As my usual way of dealing with painful situations, I tried for a joke. "Wow, Starfire, who knew you had such a mouth on you, have you been kissing a trucker lately?" Apparently, I succeeded. Cyborg was holding in his laughter as best he could, but failing miserably. Starfire's face had gone red, but she was giggling and shaking her head while holding a hand over her mouth. Robin looked offended and almost angry at first, as if he actually had actually thought that she had been, but he glanced over to her and saw that she was denying it.

Soon, our giggles turned to laughs, and then to guffaws. Sure our laughter was a tad hysterical, and sure, we were disturbing other patients, but we didn't care. Raven was alive and recovering normally. And that's all that really mattered.

 _ **Cyborg**_

When Beast Boy told his joke, I knew then that we would all be okay. Yes, Robin was still angry and obsessed with bringing justice to his friend. Yes, Starfire was still not consistently flying. My batteries were wearing out, and I would need a recharge soon. And I knew just how much pain, fear, and anger that Beast Boy was dealing with at the moment. Despite all of this, I knew that we would all be all right. Raven wasn't dying today.

I remember thinking when I heard that Raven's heart had stopped beating, _'Don't you dare die on us Raven. Don't you dare die on us.'_ I prayed to the God that my mother said was real, to the one I stopped believing in after she died, and the one I've despised ever since I became 'Cyborg'. In that moment, I regained my faith.

I wish that I could say the same for Beast Boy. He carried so much on his shoulders and sometimes it hurt to watch him try to bear his burden all on his own. There was so much hurt in this one person, and it was still apparent that he still blamed himself for what was happening. He still would not, could not, leave her side for long- even to relieve himself. (I just wish he would get out of the the bathroom at home.) Robin, Starfire, and I have tried everything to get him to go for a minute, but every time it would nearly send him into a full scale panic attack.

It was clear to see that these recent events had changed something in that boy. His demeanor was now more serious, his inner sense of sunshine was muted. It almost felt as if it were him who was laying on that hospital bed, not Raven. There was another thing changed in him, something that all three of us could see, something that wouldn't have been seen if we were not so close to him. He wasn't just protective of Raven, he loved her. He loved her with all of his heart, body, and soul. We all just hoped that she felt the same because if she didn't, it could crush him.

We all wanted something in that time, but most of all, we just wanted our family to be whole and unbroken again.

 _ **Beast Boy**_

I tried holding up my mask. I tried to let them know that I would be okay. They knew I wasn't, but they didn't know the extent of how bad I really was. My emotions were screaming to be seen, my body was wearing down from lack of sleep and food. The bullet hole in my shoulder ached, and my head felt as if there were nails being driven through my temples. But worst of all, I was angry. I was angry that I didn't notice Raven's first injury, that she didn't want us to know, that nobody saw her for the angel she was, that I left the room, that we were here now. The Beast cried for blood, for the blood to the man who almost took her from me.

For once, I didn't notice someone walking up behind me. I felt a hand rest on my shoulder, and I spun around and threw the person to the ground with a strength I didn't know I had. It was only Cyborg, but in that moment he saw the feral beast I was slowly becoming.

"B, we need to talk, man." He didn't wait for an answer, but continued on, watching me with a guarded expression. "You can't let yourself become this."

"Become _what?_ " I growled.

"This. She'll be fine, don't worry. Don't let your anger get the best of you, man. It isn't healthy- here, speaking of bein' healthy, have this." He pushed a plate of steamed vegetables and grilled tofu my way. When I didn't respond to it, he frowned and said, "Come on, Green Bean, don't make me do the airplane thing..."

With the humiliating thought of that, I complied, but only taking small bites. Each peice hitting my empty stomach in an unhappy way. Much to Cyborg's displeasure, I pushed the plate away. "I'm full."

Behind me, I heard a hoarse voice whisper, "No you're not." I turned around to find Raven's beautiful violet eyes open and a frown on her face. "Eat Garfield, or I won't be happy."

Cyborg gave a low chuckle and stood up. "I'll go get the others. Take care of Grass Stain girly." He gave her a brotherly peck on the forehead and another pat on the shoulder, and left the room.

I could only sit there in shock. _She called me Garfield._

"Are you okay?" The melodious sound of her voice snapped me out of my shocked silence.

"What! Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Because... I saw- I know you." The concern in her voice was evident. I noticed that when she had dropped the monotone, her voice was beautiful. "Beast Boy, whens the last time you ate?

"Since we got here, why?" I tried to keep my voice light and unconcerned, but I couldn't take the emotional edge. I wanted so badly to hold Raven in my arms and never let go, I wanted to kiss her right then, and I might've if not for the pain that I could see just behind her eyes. "I think we should be a little more worried about you right now."

"Garfield, please, everyone knows how I'm doing, except for me. I just want to know how you're doing." Her eyes widened in surprise. "You're bleeding, oh, God, Garfield, what happened to you?" Again with her calling me by my real name took me by surprise. I realized that I enjoyed hearing it coming from her.

"I..." The horrible scene flashed before my eyes, a bolt of fear went up my spine. She could sense my discomfort, but she needed to know. "Well, I found- you in there and I uhh, went a little crazy. The guy, he panicked and shot me."

"Come here," I complied and sat next to her on the bed, "let me see it." I reluctantly pulled my shirt down to where she could see it. It was healing, but apparently I busted a few stitches and it was bleeding again. Her soft fingers traced the outline of it, and her frown deepened even further. "I'm so sorry, Garfield." Her expression was pained, as if she felt it was her fault.

The nurse, Melody's mother, walked in, and dropped her clipboard in shock. "She's awake." She called to someone outside the room. I slid off the bed and into the chair.

An elderly doctor shuffled his way into the room. His face was full of old cheers, and he gave us a grandfatherly smile when he entered the room. "I'm glad to see you among the living, young lady. You nearly gave me a heart attack yesterday when your own heart stopped." His tone was somehow serious and light all at once, but the smile never left his face. "Now, I hope you don't mind, but I'll need to see how you are healing." He strode over to us and Raven sat up and untied her hospital gown, leaving her top half bare. I bashfully hid my face in the pillow. I could hear the doctor give a low chuckle. "Not very far along in the relationship, I see."

Her hand slipped into mine, and she gave a little squeeze. "Not yet, we're both a little shy."

 _Not yet? Does that mean what I think it does?_ Suddenly occurred to me that when she was still in the tower, loopy from the pain medication Cyborg had given her, _'don't worry I feel the same way'._ My heart soared to even think of the possibility when I the pressure on my hand increased. Raven's body was tensing up, and a slight whimper escaped her act. Right now was not the time to be considering possibilities. Right now, Raven, _my Raven_ , was in pain. I continued to hold her hand, rubbing my thumb across the top in small reassuring circles.

I wasn't sure how long we were like this, but the doctor eventually gave a satisfied "It seems to me that as long as you keep them clean and wrapped for the most part, your recovery should be fairly quick as long as you don't strain yourself."

She gave a quiet "thank you" and pulled her hand from mine. There was the sound of rustling fabric, and then she said, "it's safe to look now, Garfield." I sat back up and studied her face, hoping for a sign of what I should say. Instead, I found none. Her eyes were closed and the little color she had regained was gone. She was taking deep breaths, trying to keep composed. "Garfield," her eyes were still closed, trying to keep the pain at bay, "come back here."

I was surprised that she called me closer. A small portion of my brain was still in awe at the way she said my name. She scooted herself over as much as she could to allow me room. When she finally opened her eyes to look at me, she gave me a faint smile, and our problems seemed to melt away.

But her face turned serious once again. "I died, Garfield. My heart was no longer beating, and I was watching the scene around me. I saw everybody and how they were reacting to my potential death. But in those seven minutes when my heart wasn't beating, I learned how be alive. I found something worth living for." I couldn't believe what she was telling me. My hand had found its way to a pulse point in her hand, a habit I picked up shortly after the said incident. "But Garfield, I love you too."

My entire world stopped in an instant. My tired brain was unable to fully comprehend all of what she had just said. She loved me? How could _She_ loves _me?_ I was awkward and green, and in my eyes, she was physically flawless, even if she couldn't see it. "Raven, I..." It was impossible to read her face, but for once it wasn't emotionless, rather it was so full of feeling that I couldn't differentiate what any of her emotions were.

"Its okay, Garfield. I'm not planning on dying anytime soon." Her smile was happy, but pained.

"Raven, as much as I would love to keep talking to you, you need rest."  
Her face sunk, but I could tell that she was going to listen to me. "I can't, it hurts to much to be able to." She looked at me with her pain filled expression. There was something in it that I felt mirrored my own. She tugged at her shirt, as if internally debating something. I kept quiet, wating for her to say something. She eventually laid herself down, while continuing to hold my hand. "Garfield?''

"Yes, Rae?"

"You really need to take care of yourself as well." Her frown told me everything I needed to know. She blamed herself for the mess I was. She wanted me to be well. To appease her, I took a few bites of my now cold meal, finally realizing how hungry I actually was. I finished the plate and realized that she was grinning. "There, that waasn't so bad, now was it?"

"I guess not, but its your turn now. I'll give Cy a call and we'll get you something good."

She smiled at me again. This time her face was clear to read. Despite the pain she was in, she was happy, and I felt a familiar joy bubble up in me. We were going to be better soon.

"Fair enough. I want blueberry waffles."

 **Okay, I'll end the chapter here. I'm not particularly fond of this one, but I guess I got everything out. Again, tell me what you think of it. If any improvements need to be made, I'll be glad to consider them. Don't worry guys, the story is heading places, and I've got plans.**

 **Until next time ~ BeautifulFilly**


	4. Chapter 4

**Guys, you have no idea about how sorry I am about not updating any sooner. Yes I know that this isn't really a priority story for anybody, but I hate to leave a story that is half finished. I do have a semblance of a plan on where this story is headed, but the idea just isn't there yet. Your reviews mean the world to me and I really appreciate them.**

 _ **Raven**_

 _There are times when the truth must be told. Even when It scares you to death even think about it. In those times, you realize that there is nothing worse than keeping in the terrifying truth._

 _When I told Garfield how I felt, I realized that there was nothing to lose, becuse I knew that he felt the same. I've never before believed in soulmates, but when I met him, everything changed. Its hard to pinpoint exact when I fell for him, but I know that when I did, there was no going back. He is my soulmate. We were destined from the very begining. We were two sides of the same coin; different in appearance, but made of the same material. We understood eachother and we balanced eachother out perfectly._

When Cyborg finally arrived with our food and Starfire and Robin in tow, I was about ready to burst from exuberance. Everyone was fine. We were all together, and the pain medication was finally setting in. I was about to be eating my favorite food with my family and significant other. (Boyfriend is too mundane and simple; what we share is much stronger than that. It also implies that it won't last, but we both know it will.) The pain in my abdomen and chest was fading. It was still there, but it had been lessened. Garfield was all smiles and he actually ate and took a shower. Everyone was relieved that I was awake (and alive) and we were all simply content with being around each other.

Eventually, the elderly doctor came into the room and quietly requested that everyone had to clear the room. This was the moment I was dreading. I didn't want them to go so soon, and I didn't want to deal with the pain that came with cleaning and redressing the wounds. Garfield hesitated at he door, waiting to be sent out, but the doctor just called back to him: "You can stay in here, son. The two of you are better together. Anyhow, she's going home tomorrow, and somebody will have to help her with this."

So Garfield stayed. He resumed his normal seat beside me and took my hand. I've noticed how he always held it in a way where he could always feel a mojor pulse point. This time, I was wearing a bra, thanks to Starfire, who brought me some fresh clothes. When I undid the robe strings, he didn't hide his face this time, but rather stared in horror at the marring of my body.

There was nothing normal about the marks that the knife left behind. There was something about that dagger that I had been attacked with. The markings it left behind, the way it seemed to burn through me, the amount of pain that it was causing... I had to interrogate the mystery man. Something about this disturbed me.

I saw how much Garfield was trying to keep his calm. Normally, he would just hide his true emotion under some stupid joke and try to play it off as cool, but right now he couldn't. There was nothing I wouldn't have given to have the old Beast Boy back. The one who could joke off the pain. Now, Garfield was more serious, more angry, more subdued. I watched his face during the entire procedure. It was better than any painkiller. His emotions were usually strong enough to distract me from any amount of pain. Now though, they were just distressing. His face fluxuated from anger, to pain, to horror. Here he was, being hurt by my pain.

The doctor prodded a particularly painful place in my abdomen. I did my best to hold back a scream, but it still came out as a strangled gasp. Garfield's eyes flashed toward my own, I could feel his panicked worry and thinning patience.

"Can you do something that hurts less? Or give her some pain medication, Doc?" Again I noticed his hand feeling for a pulse point, a habit I noticed that he's picked on. I squeezed his hand back, but didn't pipe up. I couldn't trust myself to speak.

"Of course, son," the cheery doctor replied, "but its all up to her." He then redirected his attention to me. "Don't try to be a hero now, your pain doesn't need to be bothering you, let me help you."

"I don't want to sleep yet." I argued. This was a losing battle, I could feel it.

"Your pain isn't only hurting you," the doctor said patiently, "You have to realize that seeing someone you love in insurmountable pain is the worst imagineable torture." There was a haunted look to his eyes as he said that. As if he had to experience the same pain before.

I knew that I couldn't do that to Garfield. So I justed nodded and watched as a young nurse put the painkiller into my IV. Garfield just stood by and watched until the nurse and doctor left the room. Then he walked over to me, a strange look to his eyes, his emotions unreadable. There was almost a broken look to him, and seeing it broke my heart.

I felt the familiar wave of drowsiness wash over my senses. I tried for a reassuring smile but I couldnt find one within myself. I just hoped that we could all go back to being as happy as we once were. It wasn't long until I drifted off to sleep, but I was comforted but his presence, knowing that we would someday be okay.

 _ **Beast Boy**_

There used to be the times where I wished that I could feel nothing at all. To be like Raven acted. That wish was never stronger than right there. I could see how hard she was trying to be strong, trying to let me know that it was all right. I wasn't as if she actually knew she would get better. I knew that she was trying be an optimist, but I couldn't get the horrifying images out of my head. I wanted to kill the one who did this to her. There would be nothing more satisfying than making him feel the same kind of pain she went through, but he wouldn't ever recover from it the way she would. I would be sure of it.

 _ **Cyborg**_

I went in to check on Raven and be sure that Beast Boy had eaten something. I tried for a smile in efforts to keep the mood light, but instead I found Beast Boy with a look so full of anger and hatred. Even though he was a bit on the small side, everything about his appearance screamed danger. He looked downright feral. I had to fight back my own unease to even sit near him.

"Yo, B, whatever you're gonna do, please don't do it." He turned his look onto me and the urge to get up and flee strengthened. But it also made the need to stay even stronger still. There were some things that needed to be said.

"No, Cyborg. He deserves to pay for what he did to her; to feel her pain, to know what hes done to her. He shouldn't even be alive right now."

To hear these words come from Beast Boys mouth was perhaps the most terrifying part of all. If they had come from Robin or Starfire I wouldn't be as scared, but Beast Boy? Never in a million years would I have ever thought I would hear him say anything of the sort. Is that what love would drive him to? It was them I realized how much he needed Raven. She was the only thing keeping him sane. If she didn't make it... I didn't even want to consider the possibilities.

"Beast Boy... Garfield... Don't become the monster here. Do know why he wants to kill Raven? For some sick reason, he blames her for the death of his family. If there were anyone in the world who could understand the way you feel, it would be him. He is a man who has lost everything. His wife and daughter, his humanity, his sanity. I know how it feels to lose people you love, and I know how it feels to watch someone you love suffer. I'm watching her now, Beast Boy, I'm watching you both. You two are my only family. Don't lose what you already have. Don't let yourself become him." He was at a loss for words. I only hoped that my words got through to him because if they didn't...

He got up from his chair, and moved over to the window, close to where most of the flowers that Starfire hadn't already brought to the tower already. A new expression on his face; one filled with such agony that it broke every circuit in my heart. "I just want it all to be over. I want Raven better, you all happy, to feel like my normal self... Is that too much to ask anymore?"

"We all want that, Beasty. And we will have it all. Raven is strong and she'll get through this. You'll see."

 _ **Raven**_

I woke up to smiling faces telling me it was time to go home. I tried to feel happy, but the one that I normally found most of my happiness in wasn't feeling the same sort of joy. It was a kind of happiness that was twinged with fear, anxiety, and anger. I felt apprehensive. Worried. But I hid all of my doubts under a smile.

Garfield was at the center of my worries. Something was different about him. He didn't even seem like himself anymore. Insetead of being the once carefree, happy person he once was, he was now surrounded by guilt and pain. It was then I knew that I would give anything to see a real smile on his face. I suddenly understood his previous obcession with trying to make me smile, because I was begining to feel the same way for him as well.

Instead of focusing on Garfield, I turned to my other friends. Starfire was almost glowing with her happiness and was seemingly unable to keep her feet on the ground. Robin was thoughtful, but he was almost smiling. Cyborg looked similar to Robin, but slightly more concerned.

I decided that now was as good a time as any to finally stand up. I did so slowly and carefully, as to not twinge anything. I took deep breaths to steady my head. After about three and a half minutes, I finally stood. It hurt, but not unbearably so. My legs were wobbly and unsure from their lack of use, but they were stable enough. Almost immediatly, Garfield was by my side and Cyborg soon took place on my other.

The nurse came into the room with a small smile on her face. "My daughter wanted to give you this." In her hand was a card made from construction paper. On the front was a cute little drawing of my team and I. I stood in the middle. On the inside, the card read _Thank you for being my hero_. _Love, Melody._ I finally felt a genuine smile fill my face. Melody, the girl who believed in me.

"Thank you." My voice was thick with all sorts of emotion, and for once, I didn't mind. The woman's smile was one that Raven could only describe as being a mother's. It was filled with pride, joy, and affection, and it made Raven wish that she would've been able to see a smile like that growing up.

 _ **Beast Boy**_

We were finally going home. Somehow, Raven slept through the entire ride back; it was probably better that way anyhow. The ride was filled with an anxious silence. What was to happen when we got there?

"Hey, Beasty," Cyborg called back to me, "how are you holding up?" His voice was filled with concern but the question confused me. _How was I holding up? What about her?_

"I think you are asking the wrong person, Cy. Its Raven we're concerned about."

"No, I know that she will be fine. She is already healing. Its you I''m worried about." He looked back at us in the rearview mirror and for the first time since this whole mess started I saw my refection.

The person I saw staring back at me was not someone I could even recognise. My cheeks looked sunken in, I was more pale than I had ever been, and my eyes... they were unrecogniseable. There was something wild about them. Something that scared me to no end. _Was this actually what I was becoming?_ No wonder Cyborg was worried about me. Raven... had she been seeing this side of me as well? If so, I needed to change.

"I'm sorry." My voice cracked and shook. I finally understood.

"Good." Was Cyborg's only reply. He went back to focusing on his driving.

Okay, so I'm just going to leave it off here for now. You won't be hearing from me for a while because I'm going off to a third-world country to do mission work. Sorry, but not really for any disappointments. I would rather be building houses and handing out food anyways. I look forward to updating again and I, as always, love hearing your impute.

 **¡Adios amigos!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey, its me! I finally got around to making a new chapter! Sorry for the delay, but as I said in my last chapter, I was on a mission trip and my focus was not on writing. Any idea how fun housebuilding is? Its great.**

 **This chapter is very short and mainly functions as a fluffy little bit of showing where Raven and Beast B** **oy stand. For now, I just hope that you guys enjoy it.**

 **As always reviews and constructive criticisms are very highly appreciated. Honestly, tell me what you think.**

 **And to all of the amazing people who actually seem to like the junk I write: Thank you. I can't believe that somebody would actually ever like something that I have written. I love you all. 3**

 ***I do not own Teen Titans***

* * *

 _ **Raven**_

Although I knew that I had fallen asleep in the car on the way back home, I nearly panicked when I didn't immediately recognize my surroundings immediately. I shot up from the bed and looked around the room I was in. _My own... I'm home._ It felt as if it had been ages since I had last slept in here. But in reality it had only been a few days.

Looking around my room again, I began to feel the familiar hollowness of loneliness creep up on me. I was well accustomed to the feeling, but after a few days of not feeling it made me feel even more lonely than I have in a while. In all honesty, I've never felt lonely before the Titans, but that was because I never had anyone to be missing. In recent times, I've found that I have been finding myself being around my team much more often. Hanging out with Cyborg and helping him with his car stuff, going to the mall with Star, going over cases and criminal studies with Robin, and just being around Garfield.

Feeling their minute emotions of happiness and ease of life helped to give me perspective on life. They showed me that some emotions weren't dangerous. They showed me the emotions that I had never before seen, emotions like happiness, confidence, hope, and love; emotions that proved to be constructive, positive.

I couldn't stand to be in my room any longer. I leapt up from my bed before realizing that doing so would have painful consequences in my current state. Sure enough, I felt myself hit the ground with a graceless _THUMP_ and a whimper. I tried getting back up, but I soon found that task to be unreasonably difficult and painful at the moment. _Great. Now I'm stuck here._ I thought spitefully.

Suddenly, I heard my bedroom door open. I tried looking up to see who was standing there, but lack of light in my room and the spots dancing in front of my eyes made it difficult to see who the intruder was.

"Raven? Are you all right?" It was Garfield.

"Umm... I'm not sure. Could you give me a hand here?" He flicked on the lights and I realized the problem. There was blood coming through my bandages. I was a mess.

When Garfield saw me, dazed, bleeding, and unable to get my pathetic self off the floor, he immediately strode over to me, scooped me up, and gently placed me back on my bed. He leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on my forehead before leaving to the room with a quick, "I'll be right back."

When he returned, he was carrying what seemed to be almost half of our dwindling medical supplies. I pulled up my tank top to reveal the soiled wrappings. Gently, he removed the bandages, careful not to make and sudden movements. Unlike the well meaning doctor back at the hospital, Garfield would look guilty and terrified every time I would flinch. He put on the new bandages with the same amount of care. We didn't say a word to each other throughout the entire process.

"Goodnight." He said as he pecked me on the cheek and made to leave the room.

"Wait!" I grabbed his hand and held on to it for dear life. I didn't want him to leave. I didn't want to be forced to feel the nearly suffocating loneliness. I never wanted to feel that way again. Especially not now. "Please... I... I don't... I can't... can you stay with me?" Tears were threatening to spill over and for once I didn't care. All I cared about was not being alone any longer.

Emotions flew across his face. Surprise, worry, fear, and then relief and love.  
"Of course I can Rae." The way he said those simple words, the way his entire body seemed to relax, something told me that he was experiencing a similar sort of emotion that I was shortly before he came into my room. But there was more to it, I realized, something that I couldn't quite understand.

With that, I scooted over to make room for him on the bed as well. He gingerly sank under the blankets, joining me. He then scooped me into his arms and held me close. I snuggled into his embrace and, feeling more safe than I ever have before, I fell into a deep, peaceful sleep.

* * *

 _ **Beast Boy**_

I was just going to go and check on Raven when I heard the thump in her room. Without thinking, I ran to her door and opened it as quickly as I could. The room was too dark to really make any of the surroundings out, but I was terrified. Thoughts kept racing through my mind about the last time I left her alone. In the dark, I could almost see her broken and dying body again. "Raven?" I tried to keep my voice steady, but not very successfully, "Are you all right?"

She answered weakly, "Umm... I'm not sure" She continued on with something else, but I was too focused on finding the light switch to really hear what she was saying.

When I finally found it and flicked on the lights my heart nearly stopped. Raven was on her floor, blood seeping through her wrappings, with a pained, dazed look to her face. Immediately, I went over to her and picked her up and set her back down on her bed. I was gentle with her, careful not to harm her any more than she had already done to herself. I pressed a small kiss to her forehead as a way to calm and steady myself. _She's safe. Nothing happened._

I decided that it would be best if her bandages were changed. Even though every one the cells in my body were screaming to stay, I knew that I would have to leave long enough to go and get the supplies to change them. "I'll be right back." I told her.

As soon as I got out of her door, I sprinted to the infirmary. Every moment she was alone sent a new fear through me. When I got to the infirmary, I didn't even bother to actually see what supplies I was grabbing, I just hoped I got everything that I needed. I only really saw what I had when I returned to her room. Gauze, tape, little scissors for the gauze and tape, disinfectant, her prescribed pain medication, and... anti-diarrheal medicine? Maybe I should pay a little more attention.

We went straight to business. I was as careful as possible, but she still would show signs of pain. Just looking at the stitches and the angry, trailing marks that the knife left behind made me sick, but every time she would flinch away from my touch made my stomach twist and contort.

When I finally finished, I stood up and, already dreading the thought, told her goodnight and pressing another soft kiss to her cheek. Though before I could make my way to the door, I felt her hand grasp my own. Stammering and stuttering, she managed to tearfully ask me to stay.

"Of course." Was all I could really get out, but that wasn't nearly what I meant. What I meant was that leaving her scared me to death, that going back to my own room would just result in a sleepless night, that all I wanted to do right now was hold her tight and have a physical reassurance that she was really going to be safe.

She moved over, making enough room for both of us to sleep. I laid down next to her, careful not to disturb her injuries. I didn't plan on pulling her as closely as possible to me, but as soon as I did so, I knew I made a good decision. She snuggled up to me and fell asleep.

I began to feel the waves of sleep begin to wash over me as well, but there was one thought that kept coming back to me. _I love her and I never want to let her go._


	6. Chapter 6

**Wow, if anyone has still stuck with this story even after so long, I am truly grateful. Seriously, I am so sorry for taking forever and a half to to add another chapter. With school and family stuff, and my own issues, I just couldn't find the time or the willpower to work on it.**

 _ **Raven**_

 _Love._ It was the first emotion I felt as soon as I woke up. The emotion swirled around our embracing bodies, finding its way into every little closed gap between Garfield and I. The emotion was strange and almost frightening but soothing and comforting all at the same time.

I didn't want to leave his arms, but there was something that needed to be done without him. I cautiously slipped away from him, careful as to not wake him and silently made my way out of the room.

The pain intensified with every step, but I was not about to allow a little bit of pain stop me from accomplishing my goal. As I staggered to Robin's room, I felt a slight pang of guilt. What if he was asleep? I decided to disregard my concerns. Robin was an early riser anyhow. I finally got to his door and knocked.

I was about to knock again, but he appeared at the door with unmade hair and rumpled pajamas. "Raven? What are you doing up? You should be resting." He looked down at me and grimaced. "What are you planning on doing?"

"Robin. I need your help. The man who started this? I need to talk to him."

Robin's face darkened. He crossed his arms and glared down at me. "No. Absolutely not."

 _Damn._ "I _need_ to talk to him. That knife he used- its no ordinary knife. If I just figure him out then maybe I- I don't know- figure out why it affected me the way it did. I need to know how he knew what I am and how he managed to find me twice. Robin, I-"

"Fine." Robin groaned. "But I need to get dressed first." He looked me up and down. "And so do you. We'll grab some breakfast on the way"

"Thank you."

* * *

I had gotten ready as quickly and quietly as I could, careful not to wake Garfield. I was glad he could be such a heavy sleeper, because on some instinct before I left my room, I pressed a quick kiss to temple. He stirred, but did not wake up. I let out a careful sigh, _he can't know what I'm doing._ I felt guilty, sneaking out on him without a word, but I knew there was no way he would ever approve of my actions and I knew that this _had_ to be done. I decided to write him a quick note to tell him not to worry, that I would be home soon. I replaced my pain medication with the note and finally left.

* * *

 _ **Beast Boy**_

I woke up to find an empty bed. I was still groggy, but I didn't fail to notice the peice of paper sitting on the bedside stand. I sat up to grab it. After blinking the sleep from my eyes, I read. With each word written in her beautifully written script, my worry grew. As did my feelings of fear, anxiety, distrust... The note only continued on.

 _Garfield, don't worry about me. I've only gone out for a while. Robin is with me. I'll be safe, I promise. This is just something that really needs to be done; if it wasn't, I promise you that I would still be right by your side. I'll be back before you know it. Stay safe. Don't go searching for me. I know that you want to know where I am, but I can't tell you until I'm done._

 _Please don't go looking for me, this isn't something you can help me do._

 _I love you._

 _-Raven_

What was so important that she couldn't tell me about it? I didn't know how to even react to her note, how was I supposed to feel? A few days ago, she was practically on her deathbed. Her heart had stopped beating for seven whole excruciating minutes, but now she was going somewhere without me? Doing God knows what, God knows where, but not telling me what she was going to do? I felt sick. Did she not trust me? A smaller voice spoke up within me; _what if she's only trying to protect me?_ But from what? From whom?

A darker thought crossed my mind; a thought that barely dared to be shown, but when it crossed my mind, it stuck into place. A stubborn thorn, daring me- no- _demanding_ me to listen. It made sense, it was a logical explanation but I didn't want to see it. She was going to see _him..._

A sudden shout of frustration and something else that I couldn't place tore its way through my throat. To whom it was directed, I wasn't certain. To Robin for letting her go along with it? At her for leaving without telling me and going off to do something _so entirely stupid_ that it matched better to my own actions than I would care to admit? At myself for not noticing her absence sooner? At _him?_ I wasn't sure, but I did know one thing for certain: I had to find her.

I looked up at the clock. 6:47. _How long has she been gone?_ The spot where she had slept was still warm and her comforting lavender scent still clung to me. She can't have been gone long.

I burst out of the room without thought. I found myself sprinting down the halls in a way that reminded me of last night, but with another destination in mind. I got to my room and got dressed in record time and grabbed my communicator as well. Then I opened the small window hatch and flew out of the tower.

* * *

I flew over the city, hoping to catch a glimpse of Robin's motorcycle. I finally spotted it parked in front of the prison. I hadn't seen the two go in, but I knew where they were going and who they were meeting. I was absolutely seething. How could Robin let her even be in the same room as him? Did he know about the nightmares she still had? I understood then why Raven had wanted to go without me. She knew that I didn't want her even in the same building as the man, let alone in the same room. I knew I was being possessive and I knew that I was acting controlling, _but who could blame me?_ The man had tried to kill her twice now and to me, it felt as if she were willingly walking to her own death.

The guard must have seen the expression on my face because instead of striking up a conversation like we usually do when we are here, he just opened the door to let me through.

I initially had absolutely no idea which way to go, but I picked up on the sound of Raven's voice. " You don't think I know that already?" Her voice was soft and hurting. It reminded me of a few days ago when she had told Cyborg and I that she wasn't worth starting a fight over. I heard another voice as well one that I wasn't as in tune with. It was low, dangerous and full of unconcealed malice. I couldn't make out what was being said, but the intent was clear. He wanted to hurt her, make her feel like the monster her believed her to be; the monster I knew she wasn't.

I rounded the corner to find Robin standing on the outside of the one-way window used to give a glimpse onto the interrogation from the outside. His back was turned to me, but I recognized the tense shoulders, guarded stance, and his hands clenched into tight fists. He was angry but he was restraining himself. Not allowing himself to act upon the anger settled in his system. It was a stance I knew well.

"She believes every word he says to her." Robin told me this without turning. He hadn't shown any indication of recognizing that I was in the room, but I knew he was addressing me.

"Like what?" I was certain that I already knew the answer, and I dreaded having the conformation of what I had already known; but I needed to hear it.

"A monster, a demon, a destroyer, a killer... Beast Boy, its hard enough to hear her being called all of those horrible things, but knowing that she believes those things about herself? It kills me. How can she not see that she's not any of those? How can she not see the lives she has saved? Or how much she means to all of us?" He turned to face me. His control was slipping and he needed answers. Answers that I didn't have, but I desperately needed as well.

I didn't answer. I just stood beside Robin watching Raven. She was tense and drawn, as if she were waiting for an attack. I was angry and horrified. And my anger wasn't only directed at the man in the interrogation room. I was angry at Raven for doing this, for putting her life in danger, for acting as if her life didn't matter. I was angry at Robin, for his stoic and clearheaded nature, for letting Raven carry through with her plan.

"And all you are, and all you ever will be is destruction, _bitch._ " I saw Raven flinch at his words and the tears she had been trying to hold back began to fall.

Something within me snapped. I stormed through the door, ignoring Robin's protests and _orders_ for me to stop. Raven turned, a gasp of shock and fear escaped her. I stormed up to the man; I felt the Beast rage within me telling me -no- _demanding_ me to rip this man to shreds. I felt my body begin to change into the Beast. I saw the fear in the man's eyes, I could smell it radiating off of his skin and I raised my arm up to deal a heavy, possibly fatal, blow.

I felt a hand on my arm. I whirled around to the possible threat, my other fist at the ready, only to realize it was Raven, who had flinched at the sight of my raised hand. Tears were streaming down her face. She was terrified of... of me. I dropped my hands in the horror of what I had almost done and at the terrible notion that I had actually raised my hand toward Raven.

"Garfield, please, stop." She was near sobbing. My arms fell limp to my sides I understood what Cyborg had told me about becoming no better than the man. I faintly heard Robin talking behind me in a calm, measured voice; but the meaning of his words never met my ears. All I could hear was Raven begging me to stop, pleading with me to step away and out of the room. "Garfield," she said in a quiet and broken voice, "please, lets just go home."

Her hand slowly moved down my arm and found its way into mine. I held onto it as if it were an anchor that kept me from going into dangerous waters. For the whole walk out of the prison, we stayed quiet, but still hand in hand. The silence hurt. It left me confused and afraid. I left me to wonder if I would ever be the person I was.

We stepped out of the building and I couldn't help but to pull Raven into a hug. I knew I had overstepped my boundaries, I knew that Raven had every right to hate me, but when I felt her return the embrace, I knew we would get out of this. She pulled away and looked up at me, she was crying openly now. It absolutely shattered my heart to know that I had caused those tears. I felt my own tears begin to fall and sobs found their way through my body. "I'm sorry." I hear myself saying over and over again.

She still held me. Over the past few years, I had grown to be taller than Raven, but right then, I felt smaller than ever as she held me there. I knew that I should have been the one to be comforting her after what she had gone through, but I couldn't control myself. I was afraid for her, I was so afraid of losing her, and the anger I had been trying to control had finally burst from me, and was let loose in that single torrent. "Raven, I-"

"Shhh, Garfield." She released me from our embrace, but still held onto my hand. "We'll talk about it when we get home, alright?"

I realized that Cyborg had pulled up to the side of the building in his car. Robin must have called. Raven and I wordlessly sat in the back seat. Cyborg glanced back at us; his expression unreadable. And with that, we had a silent ride home.

* * *

 _ **Raven**_

The ride home was excruciating. I could sense Cyborg's anger and Garfield's fear and pain. I was the cause. I should have known better, should have had better control over my own curiosity. But at the same time, I had to know.

There were things that he had told me that I had needed to know. Things he hadn't even meant to say. I knew his motive, his brokenness. I knew he had gotten the knife from another demon, bent on causing havoc and pain to anyone he could. The knife had been designed for the purpose of killing demons. The man killed the creature with its own weapon in revenge of the murder of his family, and the loss of his sanity.

Despite my feeling of victory in that one area, the air in the car was tense. Even with my weakened abilities, I could feel their radiating anger. Anger and fear. Fear and pain. It hurt to be around them. Suddenly, I realized exactly how much I needed the joy my team mates usually carried. Without it, I had felt hollow. The overwhelming oppression of their negative emotions was quickly threatening to consume me. To suffocate me. I heard my sobs before I knew they were there. I felt the tears running.

Both Garfield and Cyborg looked over at me in shock. I buried my face in my hands, seeking any sort of escape from their anger. It had lessened on account of their surprise, but it was still present. The car stopped just as I shoved open the door. I wasn't aware of where I was or where I was heading. All I knew was that I wasn't going to be able to go far. I was drained and unable to use my powers properly. Suddenly, I felt as if the ground has left my feet, and I was falling.

I never hit the ground. Garfield caught me before I could reach the ground. His anger was gone, quickly replaced by anxiety. I could hear Garfield talking to me in soothing, calm tones. I could feel him trying to quell his anxiety and fear I could hear his apologies, him saying he loved me. We were on the ground, with Garfield holding me tightly in his arms and me trying to steady myself.

I managed to calm myself enough to get back in the car. Why was I suddenly so unstable? I have always been able to tune out the emotions of my teammates when they got too intense. If the knife was designed to actually kill a demon, was it actually killing me?

With Garfield's arms wrapped around me and the constant worried glances from Cyborg, I could vividly remember the night my heart had stopped. I remembered how all of my teammates had reacted. Death scared me now more than it had ever before. I had always believed I would never live past sixteen, and then when I did, all I could see is scorn from others. But now I knew I was loved, now I had something to live for, and I wasn't about to give it up.

 **So, thats that. Its not my finest piece of work, but it will have to do for now. Any suggestions of what you want to happen? And as usual, don't be afraid to leave your input on the story or give constructive criticism. I'll try to get another chapter in sooner, but I can never promise anything. Thanks for reading!**


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